Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
