You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
