her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
