I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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