I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
