My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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