You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
