i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
