You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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