At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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