Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
