Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
