i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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