We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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