Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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