my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
