Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
someone owes me an orgasm
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
