loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
