People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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