He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
