Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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