question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Terrible idea I love it
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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