I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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