Your tits are I can't wait for
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
