you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
