We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
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She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
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Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
send nudes
from the living room?
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