I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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