In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We are two peas in an std pod
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
