I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
