I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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