She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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