he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
