she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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