be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
