I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
