I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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