Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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