wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
