It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
