Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
