And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
