my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize