Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize