Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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