just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
