i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
