our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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