i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just high enough for therapy.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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