all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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