But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
