My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
This is my life. Enjoy the view
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Randomize
