He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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