Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
My balls are so social today.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
