And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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