You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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