i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
did i just pee glitter
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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