hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
