areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
