Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
