We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
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All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
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He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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