love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
