Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Two words: nipple clamps
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