he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize