I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
