Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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