The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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