chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I intend to get homeless drunk
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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