Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
love makes seman taste better
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
vagina is talking i cant
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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