I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
