Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i will never coherently bang her
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
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We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
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