Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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