Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
